Daniel P Miller

In my own experience, when I’ve had something on my mind; I’m worried or anxious about some forthcoming event, or something that’s happened, I feel more fatigued than I would normally do.  This has led me to believe that mental strain outweighs physical strain when it comes to triggering Chronic Fatigue symptoms. 

If you were anxious for half and hour, then the next day you went out for a half an hour bike ride, I’m willing to bet that the anxious half an hour would result in a greater amount of fatigue than the bike ride would.  Ok, both depend on the person, and a lot of other variables, but I think it’s a fair comment in general terms.

I read an article recently that talks of these “stressor” factors and how you must remove them:

“In order to recover you have got to do several things.

The first is that you must remove the stressor factor or factors, because it is quite clearly impossible to get better if you are still allowing your immune system to, metaphorically, continue to bang its head on a wall.”

Source: http://www.me-cfs-treatment.com/triggerfactors.htm

So basically, stop worrying, stop getting anxious, and don’t let things play on your mind … If only it was that easy!

Anxiety for me has always been a big pain in the proverbial.  I remember when I was younger having anxious moments before going to school, before I went to football training, before I played a game on a Sunday, and when I was trying to sleep at night.

Is Chronic Fatigue an acllumulative effect of worry, anxiety and self-deprecating thoughts over a long period time?

Anyway, I read an apt quote the other day defining anxiety as:

‘Not trusting the flow and process of life.’

If you suffer from anxiety, or you have suffered from anxiety in the past, I think you might find this statement very accurate.  Looking at when I got anxious in my younger years mentioned above, most of it was because I was would not let the process of life do its thing.  Instead, I would try to predict each event, and run each scenario through my mind to see how it might play out.

A good statement to say to yourself when you’re anxious is therefore:

‘I love and approve of myself, and I trust the process of life.  I am safe.’

I had a moment earlier where I was thinking about my prospects for the rest of the year and beyond. 

I also started thinking about the sacrifices I’ve made and what’s different in my life now compared to when I was 100% healthy. 

Also, what would I be doing now if I wasn’t so damn fatigued all of the time.  I came to an interesting conclusion …

Prospects

It really did dawn on my earlier that I could be in this for the long run. I’ve had a post viral ‘problem’ for a year and half now.  I steer clear from saying to anyone that I have ME/CFS etc, etc.  Largely because I’m probably in denial and still believe I will wake up tomorrow as right as rain.  If 100% was me at my worse, I guess I’ve made a 20% recovery up to now, which though is great, living life at 80% of your capabilities is not fun.  Ok, perhaps I’m underestimating my recovery figures due to being in the situation, but that’s where I believe I’m at.

As many will know, this is a long term illness - 10, 15, 20 years - a lifetime even people have this for.  So where does that leave me?  I guess the question is, if I felt like I did now in ten years, would that be ok?  The answer to that is yes, because it has to be yes.  What choice do I have in the matter?  Giving up would be suicide, and I don’t know about you guys, but there’s so much beauty in the world and great experiences to be had that I wouldn’t give up for anything.

I’m ok if I have CFS for 10, 15, 20 years, or even for the rest of my life.  I choose to accept that I have this illness.

Sacrifices

If I’m really honest about this, I’ve made no sacrifices at all, I just do less of what I used to do. I can’t think of one thing that I’ve given up since having this illness - I’ve been in a band that regularly gigs and rehearses, I still exercise, I still see friends, I still work (dropped a day a week), I still get immersed in music and my instruments on a daily basis, I still travel (our band went to the Alps for a tour back in February), I still see family, I still go shopping, I still eat a whole packet of biscuits when I really shouldn’t…  The list goes on :)

All of the above are made that much harder for feeling tired and fluey (you know the symptoms by now), but I STILL do them.

I accept that I do less of what I did before, yet I’m still able to do the things I love.

Things that have helped me

In no particular order except for number 1 :)

1) REST!
- Supportive friends and family
- A compassionate and flexible employer
- My Doctor and local support teams
- A determination to get better
- Self-help work on thoughts, worries, guilt, anxiety etc *
- Supplements (no proof whether these work but who knows) **

* I believe that self-help work is one of the best things you can do, and one of the most rewarding journeys too.  I had several episodes of anxiety, guilt etc, that I recognised weren’t helping me out. 

I can thoroughly recommend this book to anyone.

The title sounds drastic - don’t be put off by that.  It’s full of really good techniques to make you feel better about yourself from day to day.

** I tend to have quite high doses of Vitamin C and Zinc.  I also take multivit and from time to time fish oils and magnesium.

If you have any similar stories, comments, questions, share them!